the TUDOR TUTOR
Making the dynasty wicked cool!Serial Dater of the 16th Century Meets the Internet Age
Who knew that Henry VIII was as addicted to the Internet as the rest of us? BBC and Brian Blessed bring us some fantastic new sketches about the king involved in such things as Internet dating and online shopping. Bloody brilliant; take a look!
The Good Ship Español?
Just like a lot of people, Elizabeth I had in-law trouble. Specifically, her brother-in-law, Philip II of Spain. Phil had been [grudgingly] married to her half-sister, Mary I, and now he was seriously getting on Liz’s last nerve. Sure, he was hot and stylish and had tons of power in Europe (Spain was the most powerful country in the world at that time). But he was also a bit of a jerk and only stayed married to Mary to further increase his power. He couldn’t have cared less about her and didn’t even try to have a happy marriage.
When Mary died and Elizabeth took the throne, Philip thought he could just swoop in and marry the new queen but Liz shot him down the way she eventually shot every other suitor down. He high-tailed it back to Spain and kept the peace with England for a while, but of course only for political reasons.
He kept hoping England would sway back toward Catholicism (remember that Catholic vs. Protestant was a huge deal at that time) but his hopes were dashed for good when the Catholic Mary, Queen of Scots was executed by Elizabeth’s people in 1587. Yep, that’ll do it. At that point, his to-do list went something like this:
- Get rid of Elizabeth
- Make it hip once more to be Catholic in England
Phil sent his ships (“the Spanish Armada,” which simply means “the Spanish Navy”) up against the English Navy in the Spring of 1588. But in just a few short months, the Spanish were defeated not only by the English ships but also by disease and by horrible weather conditions. There was a little Ice Age going on and the weather on the ocean was very hard to take, especially if you were accustomed to sunny Spain.
Score one for Elizabeth and Protestantism! Not so much for jerky and power-mad Phil.
Tudor Über-Crib: Hatfield House
It was 451 years ago today that the 42-year-old Mary I died and her half-sister Elizabeth took the reins (or the reign, as the case may be). The young red-haired girl had been living at Hatfield House on-and-off for most of her life, and got the big news on the morning of November 17, 1558.
She’d been chilling under a lovely oak tree on the property when gentlemen from the court came galloping along on their horses to deliver this life-changing announcement. Her response? “This is the Lord’s doing, and it is wondrous in our eyes!” (Kind of more eloquent than “Yes, We Can!”)
This gorgeous house is in the county of Hertfordshire (Herts, for short), in the southeast of England just above London. It has an extensive maze garden, a restaurant, a gift shop, and reportedly a few ghosts as well. It’s currently closed for tours for the winter, but will reopen in 2010 from April to September.
UK schools can take their students to Hatfield for an educational Living History program, details here! (PDF file)
He Said, She Said
Mention Henry VIII and most people think either (1) robust ginger guy, gnawing on a turkey leg, or (2) ABC’s “The Bachelor” 500 years ago. His appetite for food, drink, and women is well-known, but the fact that he was married to his first wife for 20 years is not. What went wrong? When and how did he go from settled-down to serial groom?
We have to remember that, while Catherine of Aragon was married to the king for two decades, this was actually her second marriage. Before she married Henry, she was married to his brother, Arthur. This is starting to sound creepy, isn’t it?
The “ick” factor isn’t as bad as it may seem. Arthur, Henry’s older brother, was the heir to the throne and a newlywed at just age 15. And then, dead – possibly of a sweating sickness. His Spanish princess, Catherine, was also sick but recovered to find herself a 16-year-old widow in a country far from home.
Arthur’s dad, Henry VII, wasn’t that eager to ship his daughter-in-law back to Spain since her father (Ferdinand, the king of Aragon) had handed over quite a wad of cash as her dowry. Instead, Henry Senior pocketed the money and simply matched her up with his next available son, the tall and handsome Henry Junior.
This next part is important: She was able to marry Henry only because she swore to the pope that her marriage to The Other Tudor Boy was never consummated. This, for the church, meant that they weren’t actually “married” to begin with and that she was free to marry Henry without being seen as an adultress or trollop of some sort.
Fast-forward a few decades into the marriage and ginger-haired Mr. Turkey Leg still had no boys to carry on the family business, so he figured he’d just divorce Catherine and remarry. A devout Catholic, he looked to the Bible to guide his decision and found his “ah-ha!” moment in Leviticus 20:21.
This passage states that a man who marries his brother’s wife will be childless (and for Henry VIII, “childless” and “no sons” were practically synonymous). Therefore, Henry believed that God was punishing him for having married his brother’s wife. Even Arthur’s servants had claimed that, the morning after his wedding, he asked for wine, stating that (TMI alert!) he had “been in Spain, and it was thirsty work.”
However, Catherine continued to deny that they ever had relations, even though onlookers claimed they were a fun and loving young couple for the short time they were married. Catherine was very popular, and her reputation is still very good to this day. Did she lie? Why would she? But at the same time, why wouldn’t a young couple who seemed to be happy and in love not consummate their marriage?
Do we believe what he said? Or what she said?
Will You Be in the London Area Next Month?
Don’t miss the chance to listen to Super Tudor Historian David Starkey chat all about Henry VIII starting at 7:30 p.m. on December 2nd. He’ll be at St. Mary and All Saints Church in Windsor End; directions here. More details here and here!
Losing His Religion?
Our young Henry VIII was considered a devout Catholic: attending Mass three times a day, being buddy-buddy with the pope, and strongly defending the idea of transubstantiation (the changing of the bread and wine into the body of blood of Christ). Let’s just skip over the part about his spending “quality time” with young ladies of the court, shall we?
At that time, all Christians in England were Catholics, period. However, over in Germany in 1526 (when Henry was 35 years old), Martin Luther was busy organizing his new church after rejecting the Catholic Church, which was very corrupt at that time. Luther was especially riled up about indulgences, the Church’s way of saying “pay up at Mass and your soul will be saved.” His work sparked the Protestant Reformation, and Christianity was then split in two: Catholics and Protestants.
Around this same time, Henry was getting tired of his wife, Catherine of Aragon, failing to produce a male heir. He’d stayed married to this lady for nearly 20 years, and for what? One measly daughter? This had to end.
He ranted and raved and stomped his feet a bit when the pope wouldn’t grant him a divorce from this Spanish princess, but in the end he said, “Fine, the Catholic Church won’t let me divorce so I’ll take my ball and go home.” He declared himself the head of the brand-new Church of England, dumped Catherine, and married a certain court vixen named Anne Boleyn, as if she’d had “can produce male babies” stamped on her forehead. He embraced blossoming Protestant ideals such as married priests, no confession, and no transubstantiation.
Like a petulant child, he destroyed a ton of monasteries in England and cut off the heads of important Catholics in the country. That oughta teach ‘em. But it didn’t help the new Queen Anne give birth to any healthy boys, nor did it keep his next wife, Jane Seymour, alive long enough to have more than one male heir. He couldn’t even stomach staying in the same room with Anne of Cleves (Wife #4), let alone try to have children with her.
And in 1539 (right between Wives 4 and 5), Henry convinced Parliament to pass the Act of Six Articles, which basically said:
- Transubstantiation is A-OK once again
- Communion is to be bread only, not wine
- No married priests
- Pay-per-view Mass was fine
- No remarried widows
- Confess to a priest
During the next several decades, his Catholic daughter Mary and his Protestant daughter Elizabeth would duke it out and the country would remain divided by religion. But for all intents and purposes, Henry — in his heart – was still a Catholic.
‘Zounds! Marry! Great Balls o’ Fire!
Now just what is an explanation of the Gunpowder Plot doing on a Tudor blog? Head honcho Guy Fawkes and his crew were aiming for James VI, the Stuart successor to Elizabeth I (the last Tudor monarch). So what’s the connection?
Even after all that breaking-from-Rome stuff brought on by Henry VIII, there was a lot of Catholic vs. Protestant bad blood going on in England. But even after Liz I was cold and in her tomb in Westminster Abbey, English Catholics were still carrying a wee bit of a grudge for the mistreatment they suffered during her reign.
At first they thought that James VI would be the answer to their very long Latin prayers. After all, his mother was Mary, Queen of Scots, who lost her head over her Catholic beliefs. And his wife, Anne of Denmark, was Catholic as well. However, the king turned out to be less and less sympathetic of the Pope’s followers in his country, and royally ticked them off as a result.
A revolt had begun, quietly. After more than a year and a half of holding meetings and discussing their plan, the six men who masterminded the plot to overthrow the government had their day. One of them, Guido “Guy” Fawkes had planted explosives under the House of Lords, and took charge of this plan to blow the king and the mostly-Protestant government to bits at the State Opening of Parliament on November 5, 1605. The plot was discovered in the nick of time, and the conspirators were hanged, drawn, and quartered. So much for all that planning!
The very next year, Parliament decided to make an annual celebration out of the non-event that the government had survived, and Guy Fawkes Day was born. Also called Bonfire Night, it’s a huge national celebration in England to this day, packed with parties, bonfires, and fireworks.
A very popular rhyme (familiar to those who’ve either studied British history or have seen “V for Vendetta”) is helpful for remembering the date and the details:
“Remember, remember, the 5th of November / Gunpowder, treason, and plot / We see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot!”
Some revellers today say they are actually celebrating the fact that a select few back in 1605 had the stones to challenge the government at all …an interesting take on this popular autumn holiday.
David Starkey on “Why Henry VIII is Still So Bloomin’ Popular”
Well, that’s not the actual title of his talk, but you get the idea. It’s 46 minutes long, so get comfortable!
(Who is David Starkey? Oh, you’ve seen him: He’s that British historian with white hair, glasses, permanently knitted eyebrows, and sometimes a cheeky hint of a grin. He’s just brilliant and has hosted loads of TV programs on the history of the British monarchy, especially the Tudor period.)
Tudor Ghost-du-Jour: Anne Boleyn
In life she was sassy, smart, and bold – not much has changed! Anne Boleyn has proven to be as tenacious and sensational without a head as she was with one attached.
Her spirit has been seen wafting across the river’s bridge on the grounds of Hever Castle, her childhood home. On a more energetic note, she sometimes leads ghostly processions in and around the Tower of London, where she was executed. Who doesn’t love a parade? Perhaps not the Tower guard in 1864 who ran through her spirit with his bayonet and prompted received a shock so strong it temporarily knocked him out.
Bringing the drama, as usual, ghostly Anne appears on her death anniversary at Blickling Hall, in a coach pulled by headless horses steered by a headless horseman. The coach reportedly leaves her off at the front door of the building (chivalry is not dead, even when the horseman is), her dripping head tucked under her arm, and she then wanders the hallways all bloody night long. Get this girl some Ambien!
Is This Henry VIII’s Ghost?
Henry had all the power while he was alive, but in death his many ex-wives trump him in the haunting department. The ghosts of those ladies get around now more than the king did in his day, it seems.
But last year, a 54-year-old grandmother snapped a pic that makes you wonder. She’d been staying in a 14th-century manor house and taking a nighttime tour of the place with a few other people. The picture she got makes you think they had more company than they’d realized.
